Plenty of Lobsters In The Sea: Dropping Jealousy and Embracing Abundance

by julie on February 19, 2013

“You can be, do, and have anything you want.
And so can she. And so can he.”

-Taylor Wells

About a year ago, my good friend posted a picture of her lobster dinner on Facebook. Usually I “like” all of her Facebook pictures, but I specifically did NOT press “like” this time. Why? Because her lobster looked delicious and I wanted it.

Well, more than her lobster, I wanted her circumstances. My father had recently passed away, I had little money in the bank and felt alone in the world. My friend was out to dinner with her family.  I should’ve been happy for her, but I wasn’t. I was jealous

“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, a dissatisfaction with self.”

-Joan Didion

Within ten seconds, I moved on and didn’t think of the lobster again, until a few months later, when I learned one of the greatest lessons of my life. I was in a yoga class taught by Taylor Wells, a successful entrepreneur, life-style columnist and blogger.

During yoga class, Taylor described that “There is enough success and positive energy for everyone. No one else’s success depends on someone else’s failing. Sometimes, we hoard our energy – afraid that if we give it away, we won’t have any left. But actually, when we share our energy, it comes back to us five-fold.”

In her recently published book, Create the Best Life Ever: Real Life Stories to Get Inspired, Taylor eloquently describes:

“The reality of this Universe is abundance, not scarcity. Scarcity is not real. It’s a fear-based mentality that has been perpetuated for centuries on this planet. All those who’ve been incredible creators didn’t buy into the (erroneous) scarcity mentality… They knew that there is more than enough for everyone, and that them winning didn’t mean that anyone else lost.”

Taylor continues:

“To be jealous means you think that someone over there is doing well to the detriment of you. It means you think there isn’t enough to go around.”

So how do we shift our jealous feelings? 

“The next time you feel that awful feeling (jealousy always feels bad), let it go and reassure yourself that you can be, do, and have anything you want. And so can she. And so can he.” 

Taylor’s wisdom helped me find peace with some people in my life who seemed unable to express happiness for my acheivements.  

And while I’m generally a supportive friend to others, the Facebook lobster incident came back to mind and I laughed at myself. Now, I know that my friend can have her lobster and eat it too.  There are plenty more lobsters in the sea.  

Taylor Wells is an inspiration and I highly recommend her book, blog and yoga studios (in NYC and Boston area). I’ve only imparted a small portion of Taylor’s wisdom here. I can’t fully express how much she has helped me find a more positive peaceful path.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Liz February 19, 2013 at 5:27 pm

Love it!
I’ve had my own lobster moments, and old lobster friends.
Hope to embrace the simple yet fitting attitude you portray here.

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julie February 19, 2013 at 5:33 pm

Thank you for reading my post and commenting, Liz. I think we all have our lobster moments, at least I hope I’m not the only one! 😉 It’s really freeing to realize that my own success doesn’t correlate to anyone elses. We are each on our own journeys. Cheers, Julie

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PWNYBeads - Julie Ann Funk February 19, 2013 at 6:42 pm

We’ve all had those moments, and we all will again. It’s learning to manage them and take a step back and realize the things you posted about here that really matters. There really /is/ enough to go around. If you push and do your part to make your way, you can have all the success that you deserve. But if, instead, you choose to mope around in the jealous sea, you deserve what you get in that case, too.

Though, I will say, I’m jealous of /anyone/ who eats lobster. If I eat it, I have to go to the hospital. (Blargh for food allergies!) Unfortunately, no matter what I do, I can’t make /that/ go away! 😉 <3

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julie February 22, 2013 at 3:53 pm

Julie – Thank you so much for your comment. Here’s to stepping out of the jealous sea and continuing to pursue our passions. Your amazing jewelry design work inspires me!

Lol about the lobster analogy. I’m so sorry to hear of your allergy. No lobsters for you and in this case, you get a free pass to be jealous. 😉

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Melissa Burton February 21, 2013 at 4:41 am

Julie: Just finished your book and loved it. I’ll admit it.was extra special to see that you have featured Taylor’s book when I go to.check.out your blog. I’m.a recent NYC transplant in CA and Prana Power Yoga is one of my favorite NYC yoga studios ever!

I’m happy to have discovered your book and your blog. As a dietitian, yoga lover, and injured runner, I know I’ll be back to read more.

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julie March 1, 2013 at 12:11 am

Melissa, I’m SO glad that you enjoyed my book and blog! Also, so glad to hear that Taylor Wells’ yoga studio is one of your favorites! She’s the best. Thank you for supporting my efforts and I’m so glad you’ll be back for more. Also, I love your blog too! Big smiles and many thanks, Julie

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Alex Withrow February 22, 2013 at 3:46 pm

Really great post here, Julie. There are plenty more lobsters in the sea, indeed. It takes a particular set of skills to not be jealous by the success of others, but rather embrace the good that they’re doing.

So glad Taylor’s book was an inspiration to you!

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julie February 22, 2013 at 3:56 pm

Thank you, Alex! I am very grateful for your whole-hearted support of my efforts and I absolutely am in awe of your many talents and success.

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