Yoga was the last thing on my mind when I returned to DC this week after my father’s death. Yet, gravity pulled me back to yoga quickly.
“Here goes nothing,” I thought, dragging my feet into the studio.
My spirit was as heavy and shapeless as wet laundry. My narcolepsy was worse than ever – I’d collapsed to the ground more in the past week than in the past 6 months.
The 21 Day Yoga Challenge was the buzz around the studio, which made me cringe. Having missed 8 days of the challenge in New Hampshire, I felt defeated – a failure.
We began class breathing in and out slowly. An image of my father came to mind quickly. I blinked back tears and thought I might throw up.
But as class went on, I re-discovered something amazing – my body.
I’d spent the past week living in my head and heart. Understandably, my emotions took a ferocious journey when my father died – and my body went along for the ride. As a result, I had tight shoulders, knots in my stomach, a clenched jaw, heart-racing and trembling hands.
“Many people treat their bodies as if they were rented from Hertz – something they are using to get around but nothing they genuinely care about understanding.” -Chunglian Al Huang
Yoga helped me realize I’d been treating my body like a rental car, or worse, a bumper car.
|I love bumper cars!
Slowly but surely, I’m re-claiming a little territory to call my own – separate from my hazardous sadness and uncertainties. I went to yoga every day this week, and even attended two classes back-to-back one night – a first for me!
I won’t complete the official Tranquil Space 21 Day Yoga Challenge, but I dare say these past three weeks presented greater challenges.
We are complex beings – a mixture of mind, body and soul.
“You don’t have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.” – C.S. Lewis
Usually, I love this C.S. Lewis quote for emphasizing the soul. This week, it reminds me I still have a body. Each part of the equation is important.
Perhaps it’s inevitably we ride around in reckless bumper cars every once in a while. Thank you, yoga – for helping me pick of the pieces afterwards.
Matthew Spaulding Photography: http://www.matthewspaulding.com/